By Your Side

Wow, I was taking a break from studying and stumbled upon this song.  It was exactly what I needed to hear and I want to share it with you. God is so faithful!

By Your Side – Tenth Avenue North.

 

 

A promise and a piece of pie…

It’s about time for another post, don’t ya think? Not like I’m writing exams or anything and actually have to study. But I guess I can take a quick moment just to write something. Or maybe to post some of my favourite quotes?  I promise once this madness of exams pass I will work on writing more often. And in this case it seems more often means once every month! So shameful! Okay, so here’s some food for thought for y’all and I’ll be back soon!

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt

 

“So many books, so little time.”
— Frank Zappa

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough”
— Mae West

 

“Women are like teabags; you never know how strong they are until they’re put in hot water.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt

“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.”
— Groucho Marx

“If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.”
— Malcolm X

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it ‘The Present’.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
— Douglas Adams

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”
— C.S. Lewis

“A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.”
— Maya Angelou

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
— C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)

“Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.

“Just going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.”
— G.K. Chesterton

“I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing.”
— Neil Gaiman (The Sandman Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones)

“For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness, For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people, For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry, For Beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day, For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.”
— Audrey Hepburn

Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it’s heaven on Earth.

 

Could you look at me?

Such a great artist and song, I just wanted to post the lyrics here.

Imagination
by Bethany Dillon

Lyrics: I need to be reminded of who I was When I took that first step out the door All I said now follows me around I’m reminded I’m not like that anymore I uprooted and miles behind me Are the faces and the home I love You’ve brought to my attention I’m slowly changing and becoming what I wanted to stop Isn’t that just like a finite mind Setting out with such righteous indignation But now I’m at Your feet Could You look at me with some imagination The bush before me, I slip my sandals off I only stopped to look In the depths of the sea, in the midst of a great storm I run, I run from You So remind me why You woke me up And why You wake me every morn The staff in my hand Held in by Your love Just stay close, stay close Because I know my own mind I set out with righteous indignation But when I’m at Your feet Please look at me with some imagination Behind the Song: ‘I remember playing this for the first time in (Sparrow’s vice president of A&R) Brad O’Donnell’s living room a year ago. I had been out on the road promoting the first record and wanted to start thinking about the next one before time ran out (I’m an excellent procrastinator). I felt so nomadic after close to a year of traveling. ‘Journey’ had become a much deeper, richer reality in my life. I had seen things in the world and in myself, both good and bad, that I never noticed before. I was struggling daily with pride and insecurity, homesickness and loneliness… the burden of picking up your cross and following Jesus. And as a result, it produced a new hunger for redemption in me. I had this piece of music for months that I really liked… the frustrating thing was, I couldn’t get anywhere on the lyric. One afternoon I was in my room and decided to take a stab at the unfinished music again. And in a matter of minutes, the story that I had been longing to tell was somehow scribbled down on the pages of my journal. It’s so amazing to know now that was only the beginning; throughout the entire writing process God provided over and over in the most mysterious and unpredictable ways. And from that one, simple song came the rest. What I decided to call “Imagination” was finished, and it then seemed like God had begun to flesh out the vision for the rest of the project. The road between the first record and the second lead me through wildernesses of fear and doubt, climbing up mountains of questions and uncertainty, and to the edge of the most overwhelming freedom. “Remind me why you woke me up/And why you wake me every morn/The staff in my hand/Held in by your love/Just stay close, stay close…” God’s unearthly grace and immeasurable love for us has lead to this point… it’s been the heartbeat of this whole record. My desire is that it would be a story of hope—one that paints a brutally and beautifully honest picture of what it really is to live by faith.’ – Bethany Dillon

 

Follow in His footsteps

I watched a video today that really made me think and once again stirred this urgency within my heart for this lost world.  It’s by KP Yohannan from Gospel for Asia.  I just wanted to share it here because it really is something every follower of Jesus needs to see.

 

Just felt like writing

I just felt like writing now.  I’m kind of sad after watching My Sister’s Keeper this afternoon and I need to write.  Because that’s  what I do when I need to process things. Wow, that movie is so sad! Wait, a better word would be heartbreaking. And it really made me think about a lot of things.  Like what I would do in a situation like that.  Or how deep a mother’s love must be for her child.  When do you  stop fighting?  How many kids are out there going through the same thing? How many mothers fighting everyday to keep their children alive? And  not even to cancer, but maybe even just fighting to put a meal on the table every night.  How many broken families are there out there?  Goodness, I am asking a lot of questions!  But these things are real and are touching my heart in a very profound way.  Maybe I am just a little too soft or too much of a thinker.  Leo Tolstoy starts his book, Anna Karenina with a brilliant quote: “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. “

Wow, there is always more than meets the eye.  Oh well, I don’t have answers to any of those questions I just asked.  And that’s okay.  I just needed to get them out of my system to deal with the sadness.  There you go, that’s a weird blog entry that doesn’t really fit in anywhere.   But that’s it.

 

Spoiled for the Ordinary

Ever since I can remember I never wanted to have a job where I would have to sit in an office the entire day.  It just doesn’t appeal to me.

I have had many different answers to the question: What do you want to be when you grow up? As a little girl I wanted to be a princess, ballet dancer, doctor, even a firefighter.  Even in the past 5 years I have had many different ideas about what I want to do with my life.  Today, at the age of 21 I am standing at the crossroads and attempting to figure out what to do.  You see, I have always had this fascination with people who pack up everything and go stay in a foreign country to be missionaries.  Listening to stories about people like Amy Carmichael amazed me and in a sense made me hunger for a life of purpose.  The only thing I know right now is that I don’t want to waste my life.  John Piper tells a story about a couple who retired at a very young age and spent the rest of their lives gathering shells on a beach near their house.  One day when they stand in front of the Almighty God and He asks them what they did with their lives, they say: “Look at my shells, Lord!”  I definitely don’t want to be them.  Two precious lives wasted when they could have done so much more.

So in light of not wanting to waste my life, I have been thinking about whether it was the right thing to come and study at university.  Did I hear the Lord when I decided to come study?  Did I totally miss the boat? Is this what He wants for my life right now?

The other day I read the book of Ecclesiastes and chapter 3 really spoke to me.  There is a season and a time for everything and God knows the exact time of every season in our lives.   For the past few weeks I have been really confused but I have found peace in knowing that there is a season for everything.  Even though I might not pack my bags and go live in a foreign country right now, I’m open to God’s call at the right time in my life.  Corrie Ten Boom said: “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”  For now I will do my best and live to the fullest where God has placed me.  But I know that God has spoiled me for the ordinary and I can never live just an ordinary life.

P.S. I just read this blog entry that really encouraged me.  Take a look here: http://hereandnow79.blogspot.com/2008/04/spoiled-for-ordinary.html

 

When I say I’m a Christian…

“BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER

‘A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.’

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not shouting “I’m clean livin”
I’m whispering ‘I was lost,
Now I’m found and forgiven.’

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not trying to be strong.
I’m professing that I’m weak and
need His strength to carry on.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed and
need God to clean my mess.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible but,
God believes I am worth it.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I still feel the sting of pain…
I have my share of heartaches,
so I call upon His name.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not holier than thou,
I’m just a simple sinner
Who received God’s good grace, somehow! “
— Maya Angelou

 

Don’t mind the crazy talk…

I don’t really know what I’m going to blog about. I just very much felt like writing right now.  So don’t read too much into this.  Just doing something as it comes to me, very far from my normal way of thinking about things way too much and turning a thing over and over in my brain until it seems like a mountain I will never be able to climb.

This is a very weird place I’m in right now.  Kind of confusing but still not to such an extent that it’s scary.  Very strange indeed.  I’ve been trying to figure out a lot of things lately, figure out some people (don’t even try! it’s hopeless!) and most of all figure out what led me to this place.  And I can’t even describe what this place looks like, it may be somewhere in the recesses of my mind or it may be some place I haven’t been in such a long time that it has become strange.

Golly gosh, I am starting to sound like a crazy lady!  Should never have read The Bell Jar! Think it’s having an adverse effect on my mental health!  Anyway,  all I know is that I feel weird and like I should be sitting somewhere under a tree and reading to my heart’s content.  That would probably cure this whatever it is!  Could it be that now that I’m 21, the downward spiral of losing one’s mind starts… Why didn’t anybody warn me about this?!

Okay, enough with the crazy rant and weirdness.  I wonder how many times I used the word ‘weird’ in this blog entry.  So this was my crazy probably boredness-induced rant about I honestly don’t know what.  Hope it didn’t scare you away forever. I’ll write something that makes sense as soon as I get rid of the crazy person inside my head. Haha, totally random! I’m just going to end this right now!

 

Pre-birthday post

So sitting here about an hour before I turn 21 and as usual I am doing a lot of thinking. As per custom on a person’s birthday I am looking back at my life so far. Things I’ve done, places I’ve been, things I’ve achieved, people I’ve met, that sort of thing. The past few days I have especially been thinking and wondering about the person that I am. How I came to be me. The girl who’s a bit of a loner, kind of a nerd, very random sometimes and always tries to push herself to be better, to achieve more. And at the age of almost-21 I can say with all honesty that I like who I am. I like that I am a bit of a loner that went through some times where I could truly appreciate God as my friend. A Friend who sticks closer than a brother. I like that I am a bit of a nerd and that God has blessed me with so much. And as my one friend once prayed: “Thank You Lord for making Susan such a random friend, I like her a lot.” The part about pushing myself too hard, well that’s something I still have to think about and that may be a topic for a whole other blog. But most of all I like that I know who I am in Christ and even though it was a hard journey to accept me and that He loves me, I am so thankful the Lord did not allow me to turn back or give up. As that one song by Hillsong United says:

Your mercy found me

Upon the broken road

And lifted me beyond my failing.

Into Your glory

My sin and shame dissolved

And now forever Yours I’ll stand.

You see, as I sit here and think about my past I see that all along the stories I’ve written are stories of God’s grace and love. How He took a broken jar of clay and decided to show His glory through it. And now I know that no matter what my stories are, none of it could have been without the Potter, the One who created me. I still have a long way to go, and I’m excited about the journey, and the stories me and my Saviour will write along the way. And even though I may see myself as a loner, I now realise that God has placed some good friends in my life to write the stories with me and appreciate the randomness! Before I get too mushy and nostalgic I will end with a song I heard today for the first time that really meant a lot to me. It’s by Sara Groves and it’s called He’s Always Been Faithful.

He’s Always Been Faithful Lyrics:
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me

Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God’s hand in mine
Season by season I watch Him, amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.

This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I’ve heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful, He’s always been faithful
He’s always been faithful to me.

Sara Groves

 

My Cinderella Story

Yesterday I was reading my devotional book and this week’s passages were based on Isaiah 62. Now this is most definitely one of my favourite pieces of scripture for a number of reasons. The imagery is just so beautiful in the way God expresses His feelings toward Israel. A while ago the Lord gave me this whole chapter and especially verse 4 where He gives Israel a new name. Hephzibah which means ‘My delight is in her.’ This was in a time where I really needed to know that someone cares and it was really amazing to know that He takes delight in me. Later on I’ll tell you more about this. Now I don’t know about you, but the thought that the King of Kings says that He delights in us is a bit overwhelming at times. The image of a bridegroom that rejoices over his bride. There was this amazing piece in yesterday’s devotional that had me in tears…

“In the greatest Cinderella story of all time, the King has graciously taken a woman dressed in rags and made her the apple of His eye.”

For the first time I know that I already have my own Cinderella Story where a beautiful Prince came and swept me off my feet. When I was sitting in the mud and dirt of life with nothing in me that made me deserving He came along my path and actually looked my way. Love and compassion in His eyes and as He took my hand I could see the scars in His hands that paid for my redemption. Clothed me in a beautiful white dress and made me His own. His love makes me beautiful. And that’s more than enough for me. Anywhere I am with Him is home. He completes me. And this is the perfect love story because He will never leave me. This love is everlasting and for eternity. The love of the Almighty God takes my breath away…

As I’m writing this and just thinking over Jesus’ love and compassion I realize how it’s all about Him. It’s all about His glory. From the beginning of time it has been about this. This thought amazes me. And it’s so clear even in Isaiah 62. Can you believe that this Love will never leave? That He’s waiting for you to put your hand in His. He can restore you and He truly delights in you, despite all the people say. He made you for His glory, to be all that He wants you to be. Because He knows you better than anyone. Nothing you can do can deserve this love, even when you slam the door in His face He’ll still keep on loving you. Maybe you don’t want to accept this, maybe you feel that you can’t accept this. But He cares so deeply for you and the truth will set you free.

These things took me a long time to truly believe and accept. I felt unworthy and my heart was filled with lies that made me believe that this King couldn’t really love me for who I am. Doesn’t He know what I am? Doesn’t He see my flaws and fears of trusting Love? Maybe if I tried to change or tried to earn it, I could feel worthy. I couldn’t possibly be the one He wants. As God came and drew me close, He started replacing all those lies with His truth, His Word. For example when He gave me Isaiah 62. As truth started filling all the cracks and emptiness in my heart I slowly started to be able to trust Him. Sometimes it hurt to let go, but as I look back it was totally worth it. In Ecclesiastes 3 Solomon makes a statement that God makes everything beautiful in its time. Isn’t this amazing?

Now I know that this blog entry isn’t very structured and I kind of just wrote as it came to me, but I hope you could make sense of it!

“For Zion’s sake I will not hold My peace,
And for Jerusalem’s sake I will not rest,
Until her righteousness goes forth as brightness,
And her salvation as a lamp that burns.
The Gentiles shall see your righteousness,
And all kings your glory.
You shall be called by a new name,
Which the mouth of the LORD will name.
You shall also be a crown of glory
In the hand of the LORD,
And a royal diadem
In the hand of your God.
You shall no longer be termed Forsaken,
Nor shall your land any more be termed Desolate;
But you shall be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah;
For the LORD delights in you,
And your land shall be married.
For as a young man marries a virgin,
So shall your sons marry you;
And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
So shall your God rejoice over you.”

Isaiah 62:1-5