Lullaby for a petrified sacred society – Jason Upton


Shut up the windows

Lock all the doors
Make sure nobody gets in
Learn to protect what is rightfully yours
Or someone will take it my friend

We’ll all sleep well tonight
With no worry about tomorrow
Everything’s all right
Safe in our panic room

We’re building a wall
Higher and higher
Come join the gospel crusade
Don’t you know God loves
Good little helpers
Can’t wait to show Him what we’ve made

There are Doctors and Lawyers
And Presidents here
We’ve all become best of friends
Finally people are lending an ear and
Truth has become relevant

Our prophets are nicer
And kinder and sweeter
We’ve partnered in their great reward
They bless us with peace
In exchange for a token
What more could we ever ask for?

The other night I realised that the Word of God is like a mirror.  You see, when I start reading the Word, sometimes it’s like looking into a mirror and I can see myself clearly. Nothing to hide behind. I see things that I can’t see when looking into my dressing table’s mirror.  It goes deeper and shows me things in myself that I’m not proud of and it shows me so many other things about my life.

Have you read a familiar verse and suddenly it feels as if you’re reading it for the very first time?  I have this verse written on the back of my Bible – Hebrews 4:12 – and I’ve read it a million times. Heck, I’ve even got it memorised.  But the other night it became real to me…

“For the WORD OF GOD is LIVING and POWERFUL, and SHARPER than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a DISCERNER of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” -Hebrews 4:12

It’s true, God’s Word is an extremely sharp sword and I realised that it’s not the best feeling being on the cutting side.  But it’s so necessary.  No pain, no gain…right?!

The thing is that you can’t hide behind indifference or apathy when the TRUTH in all it’s fullness is right there, staring you in the face.  It’s right there, black on white.  What will you and I do with it?  Like a mirror it doesn’t hide anything.  And like looking into a mirror you can ignore or try and forget what you saw.  Or you can take that image, remember it and take action.

“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work” – 2 Timothy 3:16,17

Another thing I just realised is that you have to actually look into the mirror to be able to see yourself.  It’s important to fill your life with the Word of Truth.  Read the Bible.  And right here I am challenging myself too.  Many times I don’t make time to read my Bible, to look into the mirror, and I can see the effect it has on my walk with God.

So this challenge is going out first and foremost to myself.  Dare to look into the mirror more often.  It’ll do you good!

“The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul; The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple;  The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes;  The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.  More to be desired are they than gold, Yea, than much fine gold; Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.  Moreover by them Your servant is warned, And in keeping them there is great reward.” – Psalm 19:7-11

Here’s another poem I wrote about a week ago. I’ve been going through what some might call writer’s block and this poem is the first one in a very long time!  I wrote it in a place of just being amazed all over again by God’s grace and patience.  I kind of felt like the prodigal daughter, too scared to look my Father in the eyes because mine was filled with regrets and failure.  But even though I make so many mistakes there’s forgiveness in the heart of the Father.

Today my one friend and I were talking about how we so easily fall into sin or stumble from God’s way for us.  One thing she said is that we fall so easily because we’re not reading the mapbook.  And when we do read the Bible we’re only hearers of the word and not doers.  You see, we have to live it!  And I know that I’m guilty of many times taking the easy way out.  I read a verse that so clearly speaks to me and then I just carry on and to my own regret choose to ignore the life-giving words of my Saviour.  And that’s one of the reasons why I find myself in this place of failure time after time.  And then I’m amazed by God’s patience with me.  How He shows compassion and forgives me even though I don’t deserve it at all.  Like the father in the story of the prodigal son:

“And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.” Luke 15:20

I can never ever understand God’s grace…

But here’s the poem:

These footsteps run deep

I’ve been here before

This place I have come to know

But I don’t want it to become my home

 

Temptation, oh you come for me

And too many times I fall

This flesh is weak

Too many regrets to call

 

Now I’m back at Your feet

Regrets sting my eyes

Avoiding Yours I kneel

How many times must I be found in need?

 

My Jesus, oh You come for me

When too many times I fall

Even though I am weak

Your grace covers it all

Wow, I was taking a break from studying and stumbled upon this song.  It was exactly what I needed to hear and I want to share it with you. God is so faithful!

By Your Side – Tenth Avenue North.

 

It’s about time for another post, don’t ya think? Not like I’m writing exams or anything and actually have to study. But I guess I can take a quick moment just to write something. Or maybe to post some of my favourite quotes?  I promise once this madness of exams pass I will work on writing more often. And in this case it seems more often means once every month! So shameful! Okay, so here’s some food for thought for y’all and I’ll be back soon!

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

 

“So many books, so little time.”
Frank Zappa
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough”
Mae West

 

“Women are like teabags; you never know how strong they are until they’re put in hot water.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.”
Groucho Marx
“If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.”
Malcolm X
“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it ‘The Present’.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
Douglas Adams
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”
C.S. Lewis
“A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.”
Maya Angelou
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)
“Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
“Just going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.”
G.K. Chesterton
“I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing.”
Neil Gaiman (The Sandman Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones)
“For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness, For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people, For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry, For Beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day, For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.”
Audrey Hepburn
Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it’s heaven on Earth.

Such a great artist and song, I just wanted to post the lyrics here.

Imagination
by Bethany Dillon

Lyrics:

I need to be reminded of who I was
When I took that first step out the door
All I said now follows me around
I’m reminded I’m not like that anymore

I uprooted and miles behind me
Are the faces and the home I love
You’ve brought to my attention
I’m slowly changing and becoming what I wanted to stop

Isn’t that just like a finite mind
Setting out with such righteous indignation
But now I’m at Your feet
Could You look at me with some imagination

The bush before me, I slip my sandals off
I only stopped to look
In the depths of the sea, in the midst of a great storm
I run, I run from You

So remind me why You woke me up
And why You wake me every morn
The staff in my hand
Held in by Your love
Just stay close, stay close

Because I know my own mind
I set out with righteous indignation
But when I’m at Your feet
Please look at me with some imagination

Behind the Song:
‘I remember playing this for the first time in (Sparrow’s vice president of A&R) Brad O’Donnell’s living room a year ago. I had been out on the road promoting the first record and wanted to start thinking about the next one before time ran out (I’m an excellent procrastinator). I felt so nomadic after close to a year of traveling. ‘Journey’ had become a much deeper, richer reality in my life. I had seen things in the world and in myself, both good and bad, that I never noticed before. I was struggling daily with pride and insecurity, homesickness and loneliness… the burden of picking up your cross and following Jesus. And as a result, it produced a new hunger for redemption in me. I had this piece of music for months that I really liked… the frustrating thing was, I couldn’t get anywhere on the lyric. One afternoon I was in my room and decided to take a stab at the unfinished music again. And in a matter of minutes, the story that I had been longing to tell was somehow scribbled down on the pages of my journal. It’s so amazing to know now that was only the beginning; throughout the entire writing process God provided over and over in the most mysterious and unpredictable ways. And from that one, simple song came the rest. What I decided to call “Imagination” was finished, and it then seemed like God had begun to flesh out the vision for the rest of the project. The road between the first record and the second lead me through wildernesses of fear and doubt, climbing up mountains of questions and uncertainty, and to the edge of the most overwhelming freedom.

“Remind me why you woke me up/And why you wake me every morn/The staff in my hand/Held in by your love/Just stay close, stay close…”

God’s unearthly grace and immeasurable love for us has lead to this point… it’s been the heartbeat of this whole record. My desire is that it would be a story of hope—one that paints a brutally and beautifully honest picture of what it really is to live by faith.’ – Bethany Dillon

I watched a video today that really made me think and once again stirred this urgency within my heart for this lost world.  It’s by KP Yohannan from Gospel for Asia.  I just wanted to share it here because it really is something every follower of Jesus needs to see.

I just felt like writing now.  I’m kind of sad after watching My Sister’s Keeper this afternoon and I need to write.  Because that’s  what I do when I need to process things. Wow, that movie is so sad! Wait, a better word would be heartbreaking. And it really made me think about a lot of things.  Like what I would do in a situation like that.  Or how deep a mother’s love must be for her child.  When do you  stop fighting?  How many kids are out there going through the same thing? How many mothers fighting everyday to keep their children alive? And  not even to cancer, but maybe even just fighting to put a meal on the table every night.  How many broken families are there out there?  Goodness, I am asking a lot of questions!  But these things are real and are touching my heart in a very profound way.  Maybe I am just a little too soft or too much of a thinker.  Leo Tolstoy starts his book, Anna Karenina with a brilliant quote: “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. “

Wow, there is always more than meets the eye.  Oh well, I don’t have answers to any of those questions I just asked.  And that’s okay.  I just needed to get them out of my system to deal with the sadness.  There you go, that’s a weird blog entry that doesn’t really fit in anywhere.   But that’s it.

Ever since I can remember I never wanted to have a job where I would have to sit in an office the entire day.  It just doesn’t appeal to me.

I have had many different answers to the question: What do you want to be when you grow up? As a little girl I wanted to be a princess, ballet dancer, doctor, even a firefighter.  Even in the past 5 years I have had many different ideas about what I want to do with my life.  Today, at the age of 21 I am standing at the crossroads and attempting to figure out what to do.  You see, I have always had this fascination with people who pack up everything and go stay in a foreign country to be missionaries.  Listening to stories about people like Amy Carmichael amazed me and in a sense made me hunger for a life of purpose.  The only thing I know right now is that I don’t want to waste my life.  John Piper tells a story about a couple who retired at a very young age and spent the rest of their lives gathering shells on a beach near their house.  One day when they stand in front of the Almighty God and He asks them what they did with their lives, they say: “Look at my shells, Lord!”  I definitely don’t want to be them.  Two precious lives wasted when they could have done so much more.

So in light of not wanting to waste my life, I have been thinking about whether it was the right thing to come and study at university.  Did I hear the Lord when I decided to come study?  Did I totally miss the boat? Is this what He wants for my life right now?

The other day I read the book of Ecclesiastes and chapter 3 really spoke to me.  There is a season and a time for everything and God knows the exact time of every season in our lives.   For the past few weeks I have been really confused but I have found peace in knowing that there is a season for everything.  Even though I might not pack my bags and go live in a foreign country right now, I’m open to God’s call at the right time in my life.  Corrie Ten Boom said: “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”  For now I will do my best and live to the fullest where God has placed me.  But I know that God has spoiled me for the ordinary and I can never live just an ordinary life.

P.S. I just read this blog entry that really encouraged me.  Take a look here: http://hereandnow79.blogspot.com/2008/04/spoiled-for-ordinary.html

“BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER

‘A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.’

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not shouting “I’m clean livin”
I’m whispering ‘I was lost,
Now I’m found and forgiven.’

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not trying to be strong.
I’m professing that I’m weak and
need His strength to carry on.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed and
need God to clean my mess.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible but,
God believes I am worth it.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I still feel the sting of pain…
I have my share of heartaches,
so I call upon His name.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not holier than thou,
I’m just a simple sinner
Who received God’s good grace, somehow! “
— Maya Angelou

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